Hey, Puppy. Did you know that I pray every day “lord come through”? I miss and love you, honey. I want to be with you so much. Just feeling so isolated these days. I hope you’re doing well…strong, healthy and your sweet tummy is full. Working here (of course). I love you so much, Brt. xo
Oh, how this song describes my life perfectly. While I’m not the most handsome person ever, others (both men and women) have felt my unique energy all my life – be it in a bar (rarely been), with clients, friends, family and even strangers. Folks seems to stop and listen…sometimes stare at me (positively). In recent years, I’ve been asked this very question : “Are you with anyone?” “Do you have a boyfriend or husband?” To them I say – yes, yes I do and he’s worth the wait! There’s no way I could ever love anyone more. xo
PSALMS 33. Seems fitting today. NOTE <33>. Father is speaking. He guided me to this. He sees what I can’t. He knows your heart. The truest, most sincere part of it.
Themes:
Shout for JOY (and I am)
You are good and right
Make music to him – sing to him and new song
Faithfullness, righteousness, justice
Unfailing love
Let’s always leave the doors and windows open for one another. As I’ve tried to do in my most recent posts, ask questions and share concerns or worries with a kind and open heart. Always, always be kind. Most importantly, allow your spouse to feel free. My questions were sincere and were derived from worry and needing direction…direction for the future. They were never stated in a rude, hateful (even nasty) way. B, we need to always be open to each others concerns. We both need to be approachable even if the other one has a question that we don’t necessarily want to hear (or deal with). When you love someone with all your heart, their comfort (mentally / emotionally) should be a priority. Outside of that, each of us should feel free. There is NO greater feeling on earth than knowing that your spouse loves you (unconditionally) and are 100% faithful and committed. Literally NOTHING on earth any better than that. When two people feel this and trust is also at 100%, they can both be totally FREE outside of each other. Truly, a little heaven on earth. They can both go out each day and if they cannot be together – then each can do as they please, go wherever they want to go – talk to whomever they want to….always feeling CERTAIN that the one they love is home (or soon will be) and waiting there to receive and love them…care for them, our family and home.
No truer words or more POWERFUL buck – than the one who’s found sincere love. Soul love.
I hope you’re enjoying this day and you’ve enjoyed a yummy lunch? Did someone peel you a pear? I’m still working outside on my stone walkways. Yikes – a bigger job that I thought. Stay safe and keep me close – you know, right?! I love you, Puppy. xo
Hey, Puppy.
I hope this note finds you well. Tummy full? I hope so.
It’s been a while so I thought I’d share my thoughts and how I got here? In the same way that you don’t seem to understand what’s going on with me?…I, too, am confused by your lack of response to my last post dated May 28th.
I made that post public again so you can re-read it. When writing that post, I was as kind and graceful as I always am…sharing my current status (my horrible headache) and also my concerns and worries. I never accused you of anything – in fact, the opposite was stated, “I trust you with my whole heart”.
If you want to know why I’ve been silent, it’s because you’ve never answered my question/s. Of course, I saw your “thumbs up” at the end of a recent video…but, since you’ve not found a way to answer my question of “are you SURE it’s Poppy you want to be with? Are you 100%?”…that thumbs up could be for someone else? Sara?
For all intents and purposes, we are already married (in spirit) just like we’ve been for centuries. True – weird statement to make but I sincerely feel that way. You are part of me and I am part of you. While I could never prove it, somehow I know in my heart that you (and ONLY you) are the other part of me. I literally feel that if we were lying together spooning, we would flow (spiritually) into each other and KNOW that we are finally home. For the average person who lives a mundane life, they’d never understand (even comprehend) this level of “feeling”. For me, it’s real. It’s 100%.
Even if we’re never together physically, I’ll live out my days KNOWING that it was you…it was always you.
As for my thoughts regarding various women on X, IG, etc – my number one concern is Sara. Again, while NOT accusing you of anything and hoping you can understand that I suffer from PTSD stemming from “Audra Cummings” (2019) – in some subtle ways, it does appear that she is communicating with you? Perhaps it’s all in my mind? You post “2nd round pick?” (with your arms up in inquiry) then 6 days later, she posts “put me in coach, I’m ready!” Sadly, with scrutiny, there’s lots of this. No need to post every example here. Perhaps it’s all a coincidence but If this is true, then that’s bad news…if it’s not, I hope you’ll forgive me for even reading into this?
As you might have assumed, I had considered just disappearing and not returning here – thinking, “is it worth it?” KNOWING that I cannot and will not share you with others “IF” we are ever in a real, physical relationship? What encouraged me to come back is that you’ve NOT posted (or commented) on anything (X) since my last post. I’m not sure exactly what that means? That you’re offended? That you don’t want me to further mis-read your actions there? Who knows? This experience with you is very difficult when considering HOW we have to communicate. My side is easy…but your’s is far more difficult. How do you do it? As my dad would often say when he was describing how to approach something perilous “very carefully”.
Bottom line is, I’m worried and had a question for you. I still have a question. Are you 100% in this with me and ONLY me? I sure hope so. No matter – whatever you feel or post NEXT (hopefully some clear response)…my love for you is forever, unconditional and unchanging. To be clear, that does NOT mean that I will be in a relationship with someone that doesn’t honor me (I won’t) but, again, my love for you is eternal. I want so much to be close to you…to be WITH you but I’ve loved you from afar for many years.
You were special to me years ago even when I didn’t know why? I can still see you sitting on that backless barstool in GB (fall ’98)…your arms resting on the white countertops as I cooked dinner. You and your buddies having fun chatting. You didn’t know (or maybe you did) that I was gazing as you from time to time. The truth of who you are (we are) had not broken through then….but I felt something. Years passed and then I heard, “will you burn my bread?” Lol. Still later I heard, “if I woke up and came in here one morning and I saw you out by the pool in a speedo (yep you said that) and you were doing yoga – wow!” Haha. Even as I write this, I can see the dark pupils of your eyes staring intently at me (MaLi). Seems there’s some attraction but would it ever be enough? ONLY the deepest, sincere love could ever keep your focus on me, us and our boys. Porn, cheating and temptations are literally everywhere.
Things are STILL ongoing here. We are now down to the final punch list. I’ll be working outside today on the new stone walkways – need to insert small stones between the large paving stones. They were set in sand and the sand is a nightmare! Every time one walks outside then back inside, they track sand back in. Hopefully the small stones will cut down on the sand attaching to shoes? We’ll see? As of now, I’m hoping to list this place within the next 2 weeks.
If you are still fully on board and can make that known somehow, I’ll make my posts here public again so you can re-read them, watch any videos and listen to music when you want. I know you enjoy that.
I love you so much – never forget it. Yesterday, today and always. xo